Day 3: Describe a Moment or Day When Being Single Was Really Awesome

Lately, Saturdays are my Awesome Single Days. I pretty much lounge around my apartment all day in my pj's and get caught up on stuff around the interwebs. 

Occasionally, all that web surfing will make me sleepy, so I'll need to take a nap to recharge my batteries. When I wake up, I might be hungry, so I'll mosey on over to the kitchen to whip up a snack. It might be a healthy snack, it might not be a healthy snack - depends on my mood (but mostly it depends on what I have available in the fridge). 

If I didn't eat my snack standing up in the kitchen, I'll bring it back to my bedroom and get comfy in my covers while I search for something to watch on Hulu or Netflix. Then I'll eat my snack while I watch whatever-it-is-I-decided-to-tune-in-to. 

If the walk from the kitchen to the bedroom wore me out, it might be time for 2nd Nap- which in case I missed a call or text when I was in the kitchen, I'll check my phone for any messages before I decide to fully commit to. Usually no one has tried to get a hold of me, so I can take 2nd Nap with a peace of mind that I'm not ignoring anyone or neglecting anything I had previously committed to. 

After I wake up from 2nd Nap, it is usually late-afternoon/early-evening...which means it is now time to get out of bed (for good) and take a shower. If I have some place important to be on Sunday (aka: church, duh), I'll debate washing my hair (which really isn't much of a debate because I always do it, anyway). 

After I am clean and shiny from head to toe, I'll play with my hair and makeup for a little while (let's be real: a long while) before deciding that I'm too hungry to function any longer. Dissatisfied with the selection of food available in the fridge from my earlier venture to the kitchen, I'll debate whether or not to get back online and try something new from my favorite food delivery site (shout out to Eat24!) or to get in the car and go to the grocery store. Since it is close to, or past, 12 hours since the time that I woke up in the morning, and I have yet to be outside of the apartment, I generally decide to get in the car and go to the grocery store...

Being single is really awesome on the days that I can set the pace of how productive or unproductive I want to be. Being single is really awesome on the days that I don't have to answer to anybody but myself. Being single is really awesome on the days that I don't have to meet any deadlines, except for the ones I (may or may not) set for myself. Being single is really awesome on the days that I don't have to be responsible for anyone or anything but myself and the tasks I chose to engage in. Being single is really awesome when I can just have time to myself... to breathe, to catch up on sleep, to read a book, to get lost on the internet for hours without feeling guilty, to do whatever I want- whenever I want.

Being single is really awesome on the days that I feel empowered and optimistic about the future.

Being single is really awesome on the days that I don't feel sad and/or lonely.

Read more:

Day 2: Describe a day or moment when being single really sucked
Day 1: How do you respond to: "and why are YOU still single?" 

30-Day Blogging Challenge: Inspired by The Single Woman

Timing is everything

When it comes to being honest, authentic, and real with yourself about your feelings for someone special, is there ever a wrong moment to tell that special someone how much they mean to you? 

Is the moment that you gain that strength and courage to confess your love to someone special always the right moment - regardless of life circumstances both of you may be engaged in?

Is the risk of telling someone special that you love them worth it, even if that means ruining the friendship or breaking up a relationship that one or both of you had moved on to?

What do you do when the person you love, used to love you, but is in love with someone else?

"When you love somebody, tell 'em. Even if you're scared or if it will cause problems or burn your life to the ground. Say it loud and go from there." --Mark Sloan.

( * * SIDE NOTE * * The clip I wanted to share can be found here: courtesy of Grey's Anatomy, by way of Hulu; Season 10, Episode 12: Get Up, Stand Up; Jackson's Statement at the Wedding: http://www.hulu.com/watch/572060. For some reason, it is proving very difficult to embed a Hulu video into this blog post - as you can see, thanks to that big blank space above.)

2013 Best Moments on Instagram

I love social media...but I am not at all hip to posting videos. Never really got into having/maintaining my own YouTube channel...and the videos I do take on my phone or iPad pretty much stay in iPhoto because I don't really know what to do with them.

When the opportunity arose at the end of last year to have my best moments on Instagram captured and played back to me, I was really excited to sign up. Then when I got the email saying all I need to o do is open it on my phone, save to my library and then share...I was at a loss. I didn't know how to do those things. So, I opened the email on my laptop, saved the video to my desktop, and put it on YouTube. My first YouTube video! Yay!

Day 2: Describe a Day or a Moment When Being Single Really Sucked

I am about two months into my one year lease on my very own one bedroom apartment. Natrually, I am interested in making it feel like home. Since I have a lot of wall space and prominently placed windows, I decided that I wanted to hang some curtains. Researched my decorating style, pictured all kinds of fabric and lengths and came up with a color theme. Went to the store to get curtain rods and the actual curtains and began the project...

...only to discover that I have no idea what I'm doing.

I figured that hanging curtains isn't rocket science, so I wouldn't need a lot stuff, and it would be easy. I did my own equipment check list: a drill, a pencil, a screwdriver. Basic and simple. Little did I know that I would need so much more - including a tutorial (thank you YouTube!).

I made my pencil marks. I watched the videos. I went to the hardware store to get a step stool and a level. I borrowed the electric drill and all its bits from my sister...and you would think that the simple task of hanging curtains would be done.

Well... it isn't.

I am good at a lot of things. Really. But home improvement is not one of them.

I turn into Tim, the Tool Man, Taylor when power tools are near by. Poor wall never stood a chance...

The next thing I need to get from the hardware store is stuff to fill the holes I made in the walls when I got impatient with the process and just wanted to get the damn curtains hung.

It really sucked for me to be single during all of this because I didn't have anyone to talk to about the best way to approach this curtain-hanging-project. I am at my best when I can talk things out. Having a non-biased, non-judgmental, fully encouraging and supportive person to brainstorm with and bounce ideas off of is quite a blessing.

I have walked away from my curtain hanging attempts more times than I would like to admit. For some reason, this project is really hard for me. And that is really frustrating. I mean, I know I'm new to being single (again), but I wonder to what degree does my independent single woman status lie on the scale of... independent single women. Do all single, independent women know how to hang their own curtains? If so, it really sucks to be me right now... and I hope they don't revoke my independent woman card. (haha!).

To this moment that I am writing this blog entry and you are reading it, I still do not have curtains hanging in my apartment.

I have all the marks above the windows and some plastic things in the walls - where the screws are supposed to go...but no brackets or rods securely in place.

Pathetic.

In my case, I feel that hanging curtains is a two person job. Since I am but one person, who knows when this project will be complete.

Read more:

Day 1: How do you respond to: "and why are YOU still single?" 

30-Day Blogging Challenge: Inspired by The Single Woman

Day 1: How do you respond to "and why are YOU still single?"

I never know how to answer this question. I feel that it cannot be asked without underlying tones of judgment and/or sounding obnoxious. It is not my most favorite question in the world, by any means. Yet as a 30-something-single-person, it is something I have to get to used to hearing.

Do people genuinely, sincerely want to know why I am single?
Probably not.

So what's the point in asking?

I have found that sometimes the asker of this question might have his or her own idea of why I am still single. 
Great! Do share!
Please shed some light and wisdom onto this topic, as perhaps your exquisite outside perspective into my non-existent-love-life will illuminate a never-before-considered "solution" to my "being single problem."

First of all: being single is not a problem.
I am not troubled, nor do I need fixing.
I'm just single. And I'm just fine.
...is my singleness a problem for you? Does my singleness make you uncomfortable?
Because I'm okay. Really.

Second of all: just. stop.
Do not pass "Go"; do not collect $200.

I am single, because I am single. That's just how it is.

Would I prefer to be in a relationship?
Heck yes!

Why?
Because I'm better when I'm part of a team.

I'm great on my own, but I fancy myself the ultimate team player. With a wicked air of confidence that complements a seemingly new set of strengths that are only inspired and invited to shine when I'm in a relationship,  I come alive in a way only my partner is privy to. I consider that one of my (many) gifts to him.

For whatever reason, right now, though, I am not anywhere near having a relationship. I am "as single as a dollar bill." As a woman of faith, I trust that God has a plan for me. He hasn't led me astray this far, I doubt He'll start now. Part of God's plan is for me to grow and learn lessons about myself and my life as a single person before I am ready to grow and learn lessons about myself and my future-life-partner as a person in a committed relationship.
...I know this. And I don't like it - because it doesn't make the journey any less difficult or lonely - but I know there is something greater at work here, and so I will just "mind my business"; put one foot in front of the other, breathe, pray, and take it moment by moment...day by day.

Not too long ago, someone tweeted at me, saying that I am single by choice.
I was very offended by this comment. It thought: it is not my choice to be single. To be surrounded by powerhouse couples who have successful careers, own houses, have adorable pets, and create beautifully, intelligent, talented babies. It is not my choice to be missing out on those things.

I want all of those things.

However, now is not my time to get them. I still have to wait my turn.

Upon further reflection of that comment, I have to agree with it. I am single...by choice.
It wasn't necessarily my choice to end the relationships I've been in, however it has been my choice regarding what I do next. It is not my style to jump from one relationship to another. I need to grieve the loss of my relationships and take a time-out from things to reflect, pray, note my mistakes and learn from them, note my successes and celebrate them. I don't know how to do all those things and successfully juggle the needs/emotions/time/affection/attention of someone new.

I have a lot of love to give. Most of the time I feel that it is such a waste that I am single. I have so much love to give and I want to channel it into my future-life with my future-life-partner. I don't want him to be overwhelmed by me, though. I want him to be ready to accept and receive the gift of love that I am able to give him. 
I haven't found that man, yet. 
He hasn't found me, yet. 
We will find each other, though. And that day will be glorious.

So, how do I respond to: "and why are YOU still single?"
I mostly just say: "Only God knows..."

And that is a good enough reason to end the conversation and move on to something else.

Read more:

30-Day Blogging Challenge: Inspired by The Single Woman

Facebook 2013 Year In Review

I am a sucker for tangible moments of growth. Sometimes there are distinct markers, or life events, that you can honestly pinpoint in terms of personal growth. Taking time to pray, mediate, reflect on how far you have come can be awesome, or really difficult.

This past year, 2013, was one of the hardest I have ever survived. 
Until I was able to breathe, until I was able to have a decent paying job, until I was able to have my own apartment, until I was able to have a comfortable bed to sleep on (rather than a friend's couch or the floor), I just had no idea how much I was struggling.

Some great things happened in 2013, despite all the heartache and abandonment I was feeling. I fell in love. The deep kind of love that both my head and my heart were in agreement of. However, like all good things, this love story came to an end.

I appreciate the little goodies facebook puts together when it comes to your top moments of the year. I was so sad that basically all of mine, though, revolve around my failed love. I can honestly say that I was the most happy I have ever been in 2013 while simultaneously being at the lowest point in my entire life. My year in review makes me sad...but that is okay because I had a sad year. It turned around miraculously at the end, but for the most part, my 2013 was an emotional roller coaster. I am really happy to be off that ride and starting a new one with 2014.

See Your 2013 Year in Review

See Your 2013 Year in Review

Our LA Chronicles: Friends and Fun in the Cali Sun

I moved to The Valley on 11/30/13. Have a one bedroom apartment with hard wood floors and a fire place (a real wood burning fireplace!) in Van Nuys. I now have a 20 minute drive to work, on surface streets, rather than a 2 1/2+ hour commute on the freeway. Sweet! Growing up in Orange County, I feel like such a City Girl when I go out about in LA. Everything is so close! And...well...I am in LA!

I love LA and all of it's rich history and unique blend of cultures. There so much to see and do at any given time. I am charmed and sometimes overwhelmed at the options. To keep everything organized on my To See and/or To Do List, I created a community on Google+ called "Our LA Chronicles..."

At first, my intention for the creation of the commnity was to provide options for outings for a specific group of friends that live in/around LA. So we can have a solid plan to follow through with; to hang out and do something rather than just texting about getting together and never really doing much to make it happen.

Not so sure the friendsies are as excited about the LA things as I am...so it's no longer for and/or about them. It's now for and/or about me. Things I find interesting and fun, new opportunities for adventure in and around the city I am growing to love. I keep saying that I am tired of doing things by myself, but truth be told: I'm my favorite adventure companion. So... here goes nothin...

Our LA Chronicles: Friends and Fun in the Cali Sun

Our LA Chronicles: Friends and Fun in the Cali Sun

Welcome!

Well, here I am. Back to blogging. Back to being single.
It's a new year. Filled with hope, promise, mystery. I eagerly, yet cautiously, anticipate what lies ahead.

I have a new apartment. I have a new refrigerator. I have a new bed. I have a new-ish car (officially 3-years-old!)... I'm ready to do this: face this life. Work with the cards I've been dealt. You sure want to be along for the ride? It's bound to be bumpy...but guaranteed to be one hell of a good time. I have a unique perspective on life, right now; and I guess you can say that I am in an interesting point in my life. You see: no one in my immediate social circle is single. I am the only one.

Now that, that's out of the way... I will thank you for stopping by.
I sure hope you stay awhile - you won't want to miss any of this!