Rejection ---> Redirection

I saw a quote online somewhere that went something along the lines of: "rejection is God's way of redirection."

It stuck with me.

And I keep it in mind when I experience the disappointment and other feels that come with being rejected from something (or someone) I really wanted.

"Rejection is God's way of redirection."

Rejection is God's way of redirection.

Rejection is God's way of redirection.

Okay.

I get it.

Rejection is God's way of redirection.

I wonder in what direction (S)He's taking me...?

I thought I knew where I was going...but apparently it isn't meant to be. I trust the process and have faith in my journey; I'll be alright. 

Rejection is God's way of redirection.

I'm workin' hard and prayin' hard. I hope and dream that (S)He hears and sees me. 

Where am I going?

What am I doing?

...What an adventure this Life is.

Back to summer school

I did it. 

I got in to the Paralegal Training Program at UCLA Extension.

I'm so excited to go back to school!

On Monday and Wednesday nights for the next 11 months, I'll be in class working towards completing a certificate to become a CA paralegal. :)

Tonight is my 1st night of class. 

I am a mess of emotions.

...most of all, I feel grateful for this incredible opportunity.

Thank you, God.

Thank you, Universe.

Thank you, Spirit... Great Mystery... Powers-that-be.

Be with me as I embark on this new journey.

:)

Let us be in harmony so we can change the world.

Amen.

Namaste.

The Sound of My Own Voice

I went out on Friday (05/13/2016) night by myself, as I often do, to attend a workshop at Wanderlust Hollywood. It was about goal setting and making action plans to achieve goals.

During individual intros to the group, we were asked to share something that we're proud of accomplishing so far this year. The first thing that came to mind: the voice. MY VOICE, to be exact...and how I am allowing myself to be less and less afraid of it and more and more accepting and loving of it. So, that's what I said: I am proud that I like the sound of my own voice. That I've never liked it or given myself permission to enjoy it, and now I do.

This made the people laugh.

And I was puzzled, and instantly flooded with feelings of embarrassment, wrong-saying/doing, and being ashamed.

I didn't know them.
I was vulnerable and honest with them.
They laughed.

I was the only one there that wasn't an actor or actively taking up space or pursing a place in the entertainment industry.
They laughed.

I didn't speak up to the whole group the rest of the night.
I didn't feel safe or a need to explain or express myself - these weren't my people.

We broke up into smaller groups - that was better. I find that I prefer intimate settings.
Free from the judgment and insecurities of the loudest speakers/interrupters of the group.

My group was awesome - there were 5 people there I would actually like to see again.

When my insecurities wore off, I was ready to be authentic. I paid no mind to the people who didn't get me and focused my intentions and energy on the people who did - who made an active effort to hear and understand my story.

This was the greatest gift. To allow space for the awkwardness and power through it.
To remain honest and true to myself and enjoy the moments and the night - as that is what I ventured there to do. To learn more tools to propel myself forward and become one or two steps closer to living, breathing, creating, loving my life and my dreams.

I like the sound of my own voice.
I proclaimed that to a room of strangers.
I like the face and the body that I see in the mirror.
I am a divine being and I own every bit of.

I am grateful for the experience. It has helped me learn and grow.
I like the sound of my own voice.
And I am empowered to to use it.
I feel brave, courageous, strong, intelligent, authentic, and honest when I speak up to say my truth.

As I bloom into peace and harmony with my voice - my inner voice(s), my physical, audible voice - I am humbled by its sound...by its power.
I have a nice voice - people have told me on many occasions.
I have a nice voice - until now, I have not given myself permission to listen to it... to hear it... to enjoy it.
I have a nice voice - I will no longer silence it.
I have a nice voice - and I like the sound of it.

Yogi Surprise Lifestyle Box Opening - May 2016

Aahh! It's my first recorded box opening.
Feeling all grown up using new technology.

I used a hand-held device called Flip Video to record... I'm not sure I love it.
The video is so blurry - It give me a headache trying to focus. Even when I was recording, it was blurry and I was getting a headache trying to look at the items I was attempting to record through the screen on the Flip Video and then looking at the items in real life... It hurt my eyes. I thought it was me. Nope. I hoped that it would be clearer on the final recording and that it was so fuzzy because the screen was so small. Nope. Oh well.

This was my 1st time recording, pretty much, anything...I have a lot to learn. It appears that the device is only good for near-sighted, far-away recording. Up close recording is a blurry/fuzzy mess. Boo. The device is simple - what you see is what you get. I'll do better next time.

29 Day Fix. Day 2.

I woke up with a huge smile on my face and a heart overflowing with love. It was • f r e e z i n g • in my apt, yet I was excited to start the day. 

I rolled out if bed and pushed play. It was upper body day!

I did the 10 Min Hardcore ab workout today. Oh man- those weighted hip drops still get me. Ha! One day I hope to master them...it definitely wasn't this day. 

The dolphin-to-plank move was my nemesis in Upper Fix Extreme today. My feet kept sliding out from under me. It was awkward.

I'm feelin' sore, yet good.

Ready for more!

I read through the meal plan books (21 Day Fix and Hammer and Chisel) and was so pleasantly surprised at all the veggie options presented for proteins.

I got a better idea of what items to but at the store...but am still stumped when it comes to creative/creating recipes.

Maybe I'm overthinking this.

I'll go to the store tonight and check things out.

• • Day 2: 02/02/16. D O N E . • •

29 Day Fix. Day 1.

Happy • F e b r u a r y ! 

Happy • L e a p • Y e a r ! 

I'm celebrating this leap year with 29 days of sweat and clean eating. 

Decided to put together a 29 Day Fix clean eating and workout group for support and accountability...but didn't get any takers. I'm doing this health and fitness thing on my own- I get it now. I really would like to find my fitness tribe, though...so many other people have one- I know I can too! I hope/wish/pray I can be part of one/establish/find my health and fitness loving people soon. 

Anyway...

I'm 33-years-old and I have a horrible relationship with food. 

As every relationship takes work - even relationships with food - I am determined to put in the work to repair this busted relationship, this year. 

So, for the next 29 days, I'll be following a fresh shopping list, meal plan, cooking at home, prepping meals, and watching my portions. 

I am terrified.

I've never done anything like this before.

...Yes, I love the Beachbody workouts and can sweat up a storm by just looking at a workout room, but I really struggle with nutrition.

...I'm facing a really big fear, here...so the road will be bumpy. I'm giving myself permission to be a beginner and allowing myself space for frustration and "slip-ups". I'm not perfect- these next 29 days will be a challenge.

...yet also, SO. WORTH. IT.

• I'm determined to undo some false beliefs that I have been coveting when it comes to food.

• I'm ready to build a new appreciation for the nutrients I put into my body.

• I'm eager to experience the freedom, pride, and independence that comes with cooking my own meals.

• I'm curious about and long to be humbled by the process of expressing authentic, sincere gratitude for the food I buy, prepare, and eat.

• I'm beginning this journey, so I will be successful in taking lasting, positive strides towards repairing my relationship with food.

For the workout portion of this challenge, I chose to revisit my favorite of the 21 Day workout programs: 21 Day Fix Extreme.

• I'm going to alternate between Fix and Fix Extreme ab sets every day, as well.

Today was 10 Min Fix for Abs and Plyo Fix Extreme. 

I loved every second of these workouts...they were hard, though- I'll be honest. I know they work, though...so I don't mind. :)

For the clean eating:

• I have my portion control containers, but not the meal prep containers- yet.

...found some 2-slot and 3-slot containers on Amazon. Wasn't sure which ones to get...decided today to get both.

• I am planning to read the 21 Day Fix, 21 Day Fix Extreme, Hammer and Chisel, and PiYo suggested meal plan books tonight to get an idea of what to put on my shopping list.

...I feel really nervous about making a commitment like this to food. My fear is that it will be wasted when I buy it.

I must overcome that fear and express gratitude for the food and enjoy it as I cook it and consume it.

- - I don't really know how to do that whole heartedly, yet. I am open yo learning and I shall try my best.

• • Day 1: 02/01/16. D O N E . • •

Mindful America

Mindful America... what an incredible concept.

Went to my 1st town hall meeting on Sat night (01.30.16) at Wanderlust Hollywood. It was exciting, interesting, and overall: refreshing. 

Seane Corn was there.

She is just so freaking cool -- I can't even describe it/there are not enough words to expres my sincere appreciation for everything that she is. :)

Prince E.A. was there.

It was the first time I had the pleasure of hearing him speak. Wow! What an eloquent man. I am inspired by him.

Congressman Tim Ryan (D-OH) was there.

Pretty darn cool that a person in congress representing OH came out to CA to engage in a discussion of mindfulness.  I wish/hope/pray our CA congresspeople get the memo and will join in next time.

Mike De La Rocha was there.

It was my first time hearing him speak. Wow! He is so knowledgeable about the issue of mass incarceration. I am inspired by him.

Marianne Williamson was there.

It was my first time hearing her speak. She's not my favorite. Very passionate- which I respect, but disconnected in a way. She thinks we abolished white supremecy... this is not true. She lost credibility in my mind/eyes/heart when she said that (and repeated it more than once.)

I am grateful that there are concered and connected yogis taking political action. I definitely want to get involved somehow. 

I am inspired by my experience at the townhall meeting. :)

I am grateful that Wanderlust is providing a safe, cinscious space and platform  for us to engage with each other, like this.